Back to Being Me

24 May

Today, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I am getting back to a semblance of normal in my life. I say semblance because, try as I might, my life doesn’t seem to have room for quote unquote normal, but that’s another story altogether.

Uncertainty has never been my strong suit. I am a fan of lists (the pro/con variety included), schedules, color coded pens and plans. It’s what keeps me grounded. It’s what keeps me calm. And it (along with caffeine) is what keeps me sane. So the fact that I am seven teaching days away from applying for my teaching license and two days away from being more or less unemployed should be sending me into a Chandler-before-his-wedding style freak-out. And yet, I feel surprisingly calm about the entire ordeal.

I think this is due in part to the fact that I am finally getting to the things that are important to me. Over the course of the past week I have found time to play with my son, read for pleasure, and work on my novel. If you know me even a little you know that those are three things that are absolutely tops on my list of priorities, but that with my crazy schedule I hardly have enough time for the first one, never mind the other two.

It also helps that today for the first time in far too long, I feel like there is hope in regards to some matters too personal for this blog space.

All in all, to quote one of my favorite songs, I am “optimistic, cautiously.”

I have high expectations for this summer. I think there’s a strong chance that it’ll be the one I’ve been waiting for with regards to my personal goals (this blog being one of them). It feels good to feel like I’m slowly getting back to being me.

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2 Responses to “Back to Being Me”

  1. Ali May 25, 2011 at 6:07 am #

    Hooray for getting back to a relatively normal space! I, too, am a fan of the color coded pens and such. Also, PLEASE don’t pull a Chandler. Chain smoking is so unattractive. *grin*

    As for the too personal stuff, I’m around if you want/need to talk. And OMG, YAY for working on your novel! I’m so proud of you, Andrea — for everything you’ve accomplished. Your school, your great relationship with Dan, your awesome son, your writing — those are wonderful accomplishments, chica. Kick ass and take names.

    • Andrea May 25, 2011 at 6:09 pm #

      Ali~ Thank you so much! It definitely feels good to be back in the swing of things. I’m hoping that this summer my perpetual goal of “finish my novel” will actually be accomplished. 🙂

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