Reasons Behind the Struggles

2 Jan

I’ve never been a believer of fate or destiny. I don’t like the idea that my life is predetermined and that no matter what I do or say, I can’t change the outcome. I believe that the choices I make matter, and that I can change the future with the actions that carry me through life. That being said, I also believe that everything happens for a reason. If something seems hard, pointless, or heartbreaking now, it’s all to make me stronger or shape the choices I make in the future. When I reflect on the things I’ve been through that were difficult and a struggle, if enough time has passed I can see how these things ultimately made my life different, and usually better, when all was said and done.

If it weren’t for my family’s insistence that math and science were the keys to professional success, I never would have taken calculus as a sophomore in high school. Consequently, I never would’ve been seated four desks ahead of the gorgeous senior who would later become my husband.

If it weren’t for my parents’ demand that I get a job to help pay for my car and cellphone when I was 16 (something that seemed completely unfair at the time, but now makes perfect sense), I never would’ve taken that job at Sears where that gorgeous senior happened to shop one day (nearly two years later) when I was working. And, if  it weren’t for the failed boyfriends and the chances I took on romance, I would never have been confident enough to flirt shamelessly with that gorgeous man when he wandered by my register, and he probably wouldn’t have asked me out for our first date.

If it weren’t for the nearly two years it took for my husband and I to conceive our child, I am positive that we wouldn’t have found ourselves with the beautiful blessing that is our son. We have the perfect imperfect child, and I know that he was worth every day we had to wait.

My life has been more difficult the past four or five years than I ever could have predicted it would be, for a myriad of reasons. It’s been an emotional struggle and I think in many ways it’s forced me to grow up and mature much more quickly than people in their early-to-mid twenties typically do. To be completely honest, there are a lot of days when I don’t see the point in that. I feel robbed, I feel frustrated, and I feel hopeless. What gets me through is thinking that five, ten, fifteen years from now, I’ll look back on these times and realize that yes, it made me stronger, and there was a reason.

Life is not pointless. There is meaning behind every heartache and every difficult step we take forward. Sometimes we just have to wait a little while to understand it.

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One Response to “Reasons Behind the Struggles”

  1. Ali Trotta January 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm #

    Beautifully put, Andrea. Truly. Everything is a lesson, a step from who we are to who we can be.

    Lovely post.

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