The Night Before the World Changes

3 Oct

Tonight is the last night that Husband, Child and I will go to bed as a family of three. That concept is something that I’ve had a hard time wrapping my mind around. It’s strange, because it’s something that we’ve wanted for so long, and now that it’s actually happening I feel melancholy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond ecstatic about adding another member to our family, and I cannot wait to meet Child #2. I’m not sad in the least about having another baby.

Change is never easy, even when it’s the good kind. It’s scary, and the idea of starting over with a new routine is overwhelming. I adore my family and what we’ve become together. Changing that dynamic is going to be bittersweet at first. I’m doing my best to remind myself that eventually this new family dynamic will be what feels normal. Eventually I’ll forget that it ever felt foreign.

I’ve always been a planner. This isn’t the first nor will it be the last time I say that on this blog. I think it’s fitting, then, that both of my children will have been brought into this world through a scheduled c-section. I like knowing when it’s going to happen; I’ve always found the unknown to be terrifying. The unique thing about this experience is that the known is also terrifying. Tomorrow I’ll go to the hospital and we’ll meet the newest member of our family. There’s no way to know for sure how this will change us as a family, but ready or not, tomorrow we will go to bed as a family of four.

I can’t wait.

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One Response to “The Night Before the World Changes”

  1. mom October 3, 2013 at 10:44 pm #

    You are not alone, ask your Dad, Him and I have talked and I felt guilty that even though I am very happy and blessed to have another grandson, I have a bit of the same feelings. It is a change and we are so used to having Jack be the one and only and maybe are frightened for him not to be. I believe we are normal, and all will fit in and be wonderful!!!

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