A Series of Steps

13 Oct

Well, we did it! For those of you who don’t know me in “real life,” my second son Max was born on October 4th, at 9:49 a.m. My family of three is now officially a family of four.

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We’ve been home together for almost a week now, and it’s been both joyous and frustrating. I’ve been viewing the transition to normalcy as something that occurs in a series of steps. Step number one was coming home from the hospital. Husband took this week off of work, which I am beyond thankful for. To say that he is a fabulous husband and terrific father is an incredible understatement. With him home, I’ve gotten to sleep in, I haven’t had to touch the dishes or cook dinner, and the guilt that I feel for spending so much time with my newborn and not nearly enough with my three-year-old has been greatly subdued.

Tomorrow, though, begins step number two. Husband returns to work, and for the first time me and my boys will be home by ourselves. This thought terrifies me. There go my days of sleeping in, and I am not typically the most pleasant personality when sleep deprived. When Child #1 was a newborn, I don’t think I went farther than my mailbox for the first month. I lived on my couch just holding him and watching chick flicks. This time around it won’t be that easy. There’s another person besides my baby who needs me.

I have about seven more weeks of maternity leave left, and I don’t want to spend it lying on the couch being tired and entertaining Child #1 by watching Lion King for the umpteenth time. I want to get out and spend quality time with both of my children, but when I imagine trying to get us all dressed and fed before the day is half over, it seems impossible. Still, I have a wonderful support system. Husband said he’d try to go to work early so he could get off early, and my mother has offered to completely rearrange her schedule to help me out with one child or the other. I absolutely do not know how I would get by were it not for my family. These next couple weeks will be rough, but I know it’s doable.

The final step to normalcy is me returning to work. That’s a nightmare I don’t even want to fathom yet. It takes an extra 20 minutes just to get Child #1 ready and out the door. I’m going to have to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn to get Child #2 fed and ready too. *deep breaths* Again, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I need to keep reminding myself that I am not the first person to go through this. I am not the first person to adjust to life with a newborn as a second child. I am surrounded by family and friends who are willing to offer their advice and encouragement because they’ve been there before and they know how hard it is. For this I am grateful.

One thing in particular that I know I’ll be needing encouragement for is this whole breastfeeding business. Child #1 was exclusively bottle fed. It was breast milk, but the pumping of said milk was done on my terms, when it was convenient for me. We were also ok with supplementing formula here and there if it was absolutely necessary. This was helpful for my sanity to keep my own schedule, plus it meant that Husband could be responsible for half the feedings. This time around, we’re trying it the old-fashioned way. We’re a week in, and it’s going great. Child #2 has taken to it, everything’s working, it’s less dishes and ultimately healthier for my baby. I know all of this. But it hurts. A lot. Constantly. And, living my life in two – three hour increments is extremely trying. I feel like by the time I’m done feeding him and then I pump a little extra, it’s time to start all over again. This is another reason why I’m nervous about Husband going back to work. If I’m constantly feeding my newborn, what is Child #1 supposed to be doing? Who’s giving him the attention he needs? It’s extremely overwhelming.

Am I stressed? You betcha. But like with most changes, I know things will get easier with time. I’ll get better at multi-tasking while breastfeeding. I’ll get faster at getting myself ready for the day. I’ll plan for easier meals and less ambitious plans for our days. We will adjust. It’s just going to take a series of steps to get us there.

 

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3 Responses to “A Series of Steps”

  1. Bridget October 13, 2013 at 10:50 am #

    This is top on the list of reasons we moved back to Minnesota. I couldn’t imagine having a baby without the extensive support network of my family.

  2. Andrea Ramsay October 13, 2013 at 5:13 pm #

    Dear friend it is almost two months now since i order a pregnancy spell cast on me by Dr from this email zogospellcasters@gmail.com and which i started seeing changes on my body since the first week of last month and it two months and i am carrying my own baby in my womb i am so happy that i finally get pregnant after all i been through. contact for any problems you are having he will surely provide you a solution, All thanks be to Dr

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    […] first time I’ve expressed some of my anxieties about breastfeeding (please see Evidence A and Evidence B). I had told myself that I was going to stick with it at least until my birthday in March. Then, as […]

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